why....

Why should it take losing everything
to realize it might be time to change?

i get pensive in the early morning hours. i learned the hard way the first time around. i had to fail out of college, become unemployable, wreck my car, and lose the man of my dreams followed closely by destroying a year long relationship with the only man i've ever given my heart to.... just to learn that it just might be time to change myself. or rather, let God change me.

i give my ex credit for surving me and daring to try again so soon. it hurt me like hell, but it was still a brave move on his part. so kudos to you if you come across this. maybe someday i'll tell him how sorry i am. but i think i need to move on a little more before i risk that. anyways, im trying something new. and im going to prove that with God's help i can do what my ex couldnt.... i am going to work part time, go to school, have a relationship, work the steps, and grow as a sober woman. im going to try to do everything differently. in the words of a friend..... "we didnt come all this way just to fall."