vitamin water lies

it says it has everything you need.

well i need more than vitamins and water. i need a roof over my head. food on my table. and money in my pocket. and since i just found out that i've been sanctioned by dss none of those is likely to happen for a while. i'm doing my part to fix this, but i gotta be honest, i'm a little discouraged. i'm struggling to balance everything. and i feel like i'm dropping the ball.


And I'm sorry I treat you this way

Deep inside the shell I crawl into
Crying alone I know I'll get by
Please stay away
I just don't want to see you
The things that you say I know they're all lies

But I don't understand what the story's about
Explain to me please how the sunlight got out

Please don't leave me here
Dreaming alone with phantoms

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/porcupine_tree/#share

or maybe i dont want to see him because i dont have any good news to share. im losing my grip on things. maybe i really cant do it without him. i dont think that's true. but i'd like some evidence to the contrary.


You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if i just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing i could hear your voice again
Knowing that i never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed i could
Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental seem for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say "goodbye"
Try to forgive teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say "goodbye"
Help me say "goodbye"

God, i miss Howard. maybe he would know what i should do now. :-/

i sure dont.