Missing You

I've been everywhere, looking for an answer
I've been in and out, of every place in town
I've been checking out, looking for a reason
I just can't seem to work it out, which every way I choose
Oh I've been missing you

Some days are epic fails. Today was. Well, no, today was great. Tonight was not so much. I was sort of on a date. Physically I was present but my heart isnt in it. I just dont understand how in the world he moved on so fast. I'm not that kind of girl i guess. In every way i can i've moved on. I've filled my days and nights with working and tutoring and classes and friends and meetings. But I dont want to settle and i'm not over him. so tonight was just wrong somehow. I gave my date that quick peck as I leapt out of the car. And I tore myself away so fast i think it may have hurt his feelings. I'm just plain old not ready to risk my heart again. it's still pouring blood from the last time i trusted a man with it. And the fact that he's falling in love with someone new just pours poison into the wound. I want to lash out. I know it's wrong but i want to hurt him the way he's hurt me. But i know the suffering is my own fault. It's all about my own lack of acceptance. So my conclusion is that I'm an epic failure at not loving him.